One of my New Years resolutions was to give up my scale.
I have a love / hate relationship with my scale. It’s something more. Those three numbers set out to define me and destroy me. They keep me on track or guilt me of my last decision.
When I was growing up I remember when someone found out how much I weighed, they told me “I would have never guess you weighed that much.” I pretend it was because I hide it well.
During my pregnancy with Harper, I did not know or care what I weighed. When I would go for my check ups with the OBGYN, I would turn around on the scale so I didn’t see the number. I asked the nurse and doctor to only mention it if it was something of concern. When my water broke and I was getting checked in at Triage in the hospital, they asked me how much I weighed. I honestly had no idea. Nor did I want to know.
At my 6-week postpartum checkup I looked at the number. Not that it mattered because I just gave birth and was figuring out how to shower and eat and feed and all the things, but it did.
I became consumed with that number. And making it look like a number I had seen before.
To change this, number, I added more weights to my workout routines and upped my mileage on my walks and runs. I wasn’t seeing that much difference. So I decided to started the 21-day Fix program via Beachbody.
21 Day Fix is extreme from a diet perspective, but the workouts weren’t as challenging to me because I was already working out. I eat a mostly plant based diet but this program taught me portion control, even of the good stuff! Every meal I had a choice. I felt better, and my clothes, bras and pants fit better. Surely the number would also be better. After the 21 days, I remember stepping back on the scale, excited to see the results.
In the end, I lost about 8 lbs.
Which didn’t feel like enough. And I wanted it to be enough. 8 lbs. in three weeks is A LOT. And PLENTY. I worked hard to shred those 8 lbs.
But that’s when I realized, my obsession with the scale and the number on the screen are not worth stealing my joy.
I am all for setting goals and for being healthy. But I need boundaries. And my priorities aren’t by defined by what I weigh.
So, I put away the scale and will leave it hidden this year, out of sight out of mind. With it physically removed, maybe it won’t consume me or guilt me. I have other ways to measure my health, like my pants and clothes! Or the doctor appointments I have this year.
I can tell when I need to eat better, go on a walk, do yoga, or lift more. I bet you know this too from your own body’s signs. I’d rather listen to my body than to the scale for this season.
Plus this little one keeps me on my toes too!
Please tell me I am not the only one consumed with the number on a scale? Anyone else with me on this?